The Five Love Languages of Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret
I love Sukkot. Let me paint you a picture of why: It’s the perfect chill. 65 degrees. A clear night. You throw on a cozy sweater and step out into the crisp autumn air, where you and your family gather for a festive meal together. There’s warm challah bread on the table, pumpkin soup simmering (if you’re joining my family), savory chicken, and a steaming mug of tea to finish off the meal. The stars peek through the branches of the sukkah above you, and the candlelight flickers in the breeze. The cozy vibes are only half of what makes this holiday so special. For eight days, you sit in this makeshift home, the sukkah, with family and friends, surrounded by decorations that remind you of both the simplicity and the joy of life.
But beyond the cozy meals and the beauty of being together lies something even deeper: Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret are about experiencing God’s love in tangible ways. The love we feel from Him, and that we share with each other, can be understood through the Five Love Languages—concepts that speak to the universal ways we give and receive love. These days of celebration are a divine conversation, filled with Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, as taught to us through the Torah.
Let’s explore how God expresses His love through these sacred days, and how Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret offer us a beautiful way to experience and share that love.
1. Words of Affirmation
In Leviticus, the Bible commands us to “rejoice before the Lord your God for seven days.”
On the first day you shall take the product of hadar trees, branches of palm trees, boughs of leafy trees, and willows of the brook, and you shall rejoice before Hashem your God seven days. (Leviticus 23:40)
Rejoicing is a form of affirmation—both from God to us and from us to Him. These are the days when we are encouraged to bask in the joy of our relationship with the Divine, celebrating the protection He offered during the desert wanderings. Through the holiday’s joyous spirit, God affirms our place in His heart, reminding us that no matter the fragility of our earthly dwellings, His love is unwavering. The very act of living in the sukkah is a declaration of trust, faith, and the affirmation of God’s constant sheltering presence.
Our words, too, take on special significance. Each blessing we recite, each song of joy we sing in the sukkah, are affirmations of gratitude, faith, and love. They become a way for us to verbalize our connection with God and each other, amplifying the joy that Sukkot commands.
2. Acts of Service
Building a sukkah, shaking the Four Species, and welcoming guests (ushpizin) into our temporary homes are all examples of how we express love through acts of service during Sukkot. In Deuteronomy 16:13-15, God commands us to celebrate and be joyful, not just for ourselves but for the community, including “your son and daughter, your male and female servants, the Levite, the foreigner, the fatherless, and the widow.”
After the ingathering from your threshing floor and your vat, you shall hold the festival of Sukkot for seven days. (Deuteronomy 16:13)
You shall hold a festival for Hashem your God seven days, in the place that Hashem will choose; for Hashem your God will bless all your crops and all your undertakings, and you shall have nothing but joy. (Deuteronomy 16:15)
The festival calls on us to serve others, to give of our time, energy, and resources.
The very preparation for Sukkot—the building, decorating, and cooking—becomes a profound act of service and love, not only for our families but for those we invite to join us. By serving others during this time, we mirror the divine service God continually provides us—a constant and unyielding presence, ensuring our needs are met.
3. Receiving Gifts
Sukkot is a time of gratitude for the gifts we receive, both from the land and from heaven. The Four Species—the lulav, etrog, myrtle, and willow—represent the bounty of the earth, but they also symbolize deeper spiritual gifts. In Leviticus 23:39, God reminds us to offer the fruits of the harvest to Him, acknowledging that all we have comes from His hand.
Mark, on the fifteenth day of the seventh month, when you have gathered in the yield of your land, (Leviticus 23:39)
The act of bringing these gifts before God is not merely a ritual, but an intimate exchange where we recognize His generosity and, in turn, receive the spiritual blessings that flow during these holy days.
The gifts of Sukkot are not just physical; they are emotional and spiritual. The joy of gathering with loved ones, the blessings of nature, and the time spent reflecting on our relationship with God are all gifts we receive during this sacred time.
4. Quality Time
Perhaps the most profound of the love languages during Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret is Quality Time. The entire week of Sukkot is dedicated to dwelling with God in the sukkah, a temporary home where the barriers between heaven and earth are thin. We spend time with family and friends, but also carve out moments of quiet to simply be in God’s presence, under His shelter.
But it is Shemini Atzeret, the final day, that truly epitomizes this love language. In Numbers, Shemini Atzeret is described as a day of assembly, a day when God asks us to linger just a bit longer.
On the eighth day you shall hold a solemn gathering; you shall not work at your occupations. (Numbers 29:35)
After seven days of communal celebration, God says, “Stay with Me for one more day.” This is the heart of Shemini Atzeret—a loving Father asking His children for a few more precious moments together. It’s the divine equivalent of savoring time with a beloved before they must go.
5. Physical Touch
The physical rituals of Sukkot bring us closer to God in a very tangible way. Dwelling in the sukkah envelops us in holiness; we feel the texture of the branches above us, smell the scent of the etrog, and hold the lulav in our hands. In Leviticus we are commanded to live in the sukkah for seven days, embracing the physical space that symbolizes divine protection. The sukkah itself can be seen as an embrace from God, a shelter of peace.
The holding of the Four Species, a physical act of connection with nature and with God’s blessings, is also a form of touch—a reminder that we live in a world where the physical and the spiritual are intertwined. On Shemini Atzeret, there is a sense of divine closeness as God “holds us back” for one more day, as if He cannot bear to let us go just yet. It’s a day without the physical symbols of the lulav and etrog, yet we feel God’s presence even more palpably, as if in a loving, spiritual embrace.
Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret invite us into a rich and multifaceted relationship with the Divine, where each of the Five Love Languages is expressed in both physical and spiritual forms.
Through Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, we experience God’s love in ways that are as ancient as the Torah and as relevant as our modern understanding of love itself. These sacred days remind us that God’s love is not distant or abstract, but deeply personal—speaking to each of us in the language our hearts understand best.
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